lovelywords' Journals on Buzznet

My bare knees touching your ripped jeans.

lovelywords — 2006-08-26T20:17:00Z

This is to the songs that make our hearts beat faster and reminds us simple of the days we want so badly. So we’ve lost, and were going down and we’re falling with no control of our landing. My bare knees touching your This is to the songs that make our hearts beat faster and reminds us simple of the days we want so badly. So we’ve lost, and were going down and we’re falling with no control of our landing. My bare knees touching your ripped jeans and if this was love it would be okay but this situation and this feeling makes my knees go weak and the way we have are status isn’t making them any better. I’m going down, that’s it. Softly I’ll whisper “this feels like home, this here with you feels like home.” You’ll nod and rub your nose against my cheek will kiss and there wont be anything better I’d like more, but that’s it this isn’t getting any better. Fingers laced and a untied shoelace, sweet smells and hard times, this isn’t how it rhymes I hate that this has to be goodbye. I’ll end this off soft with a bit too much of a tear, unperfected and unoriginal with a question of love and how long it would last and why is it ever over. Oh why does it ever end? These are the days you need to last just to know you have reasons for breathing.

Just Just Just Fine.

lovelywords — 2006-08-02T22:45:00Z

I’m so sick of spilling my guts. So find me a new pack of secrets and a new bag of lies, because I’m tired of acting in the roll of “I’m just fine.” I’ve traced the lace on this table cloth for quiet some time and I’ve blamed myself for hiding way too long. This is where I’ll be frail and broken stuffing my pain under the blood stained rug, with the light flickering above. I could say I’m losing every one of them and feeling everything I’ve ever felt but only a few would care and only a few feelings would linger long enough to last. I will hold back my secret of killing till my skin grows thin and I can’t move on before the wave’s crash in. I know, I know I can’t let it go until you tell me so. I am miserable and a terrible wreck, with scars still lying across my back. I’ll live to breath in these breaths, numb enough to barely feel the fire go across my finger tips, and I’ll lay her in the dark thinking to myself How I wanted things this way.

fortune cookies

lovelywords — 2006-06-06T19:13:54Z

Ok so I've been getting these fortune cookies, yes I am a Chinese food lover (hehe) and it's weird they all make scenes and all direct to me...

"In Life, it's good not to get too comfortable."

- Right when school ended and I had to start over.

"You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music."

- When I decided Photography is something I actually might want to do one day, and you know me and music are pretty good friends lol

"In a gentle way, you can shake the world."

- I don't know but it sounds cool and my friend said it sounded like me

"We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes."

- I'm fearing that one of my best friends from grade school that I'm meeting for the first time in 2 years is going to be my total opposite when really she probably is just fine, I'm hoping she'll just be fine.

I can't stand the sun.

lovelywords — 2006-05-19T20:57:00Z

Tired of messages about summer I can’t stand the sun, no more scenes to see I like the fall much better. I was in denial and now I’m just in shock and I like to see you leave but I’m just a liar and you’re just her truth waiting to see me go. “Things won’t ever be the same” you said to my convincing ears in an interesting conversation and I sunk right in. I went down to a low and I seem to have lost the strength to go, and your words brought me down to this place. To this place I can’t wake from and this nightmare I can’t seem to lose with this terrible sound I can’t seem to shake and I’m falling faster then I ever had before. I need to find a new home and I knew place where I belong because goodbye just hurts to much and begging’s scare me to the bone and I’m finding a chariot and a ride and a flight cause flying makes me feel like I can finally be free please let me know that this wont be as hard as your lips tell me. Is this the truth because that’s all I wanted was the truth, please, please tell me this is going to be right and I can let go but letting go means letting go of you and I’m not strong enough to let you go. Let me get away. A Chariot, a ride, and a flight.

2days.

lovelywords — 2006-05-12T19:56:00Z

I'm loosing all I got and what I got left isn't enough to get me through the rest.

We’ve grown so much but we stayed in the same skin, in our eyes we’ll always look this way. We’ll always be the same. To be everything you will be all I think about, everything you’ve ever done right and every place we’ve gone. I’m going to think about you, just don’t forget to remember…winter days, and February’s scene. The months that we got close the different ways we went. I’m going to never forget. Soft days with cold air and smiles that came and gone, oh please don’t forget. The way I’m shaking isn’t affecting my breathing and the way I’m holding back tears won’t keep me from leaving. The way this is going is going to fast and I’m falling to fast and growing in to this new skin to slow. Leaving you all is going to be the hardest thing to get through but you know I’ll never forget you. Oh I’ll never forget. I’m losing every smile, every month, every way we laughed. Everything. Please don’t forget our year, this year, even when our ending was a mess, our year was the best.

2days.

river

lovelywords — 2006-04-23T06:44:16Z

I’ve slowly lost to you. See I’ve have been swimming in this river when the water is drowning my way of thinking and slowing my moves. This is the clash between my thoughts and me; not the tide distressing my bones. Oh the fight between my feelings and me has turned to me taking deep breaths. I can't seem to even ponder the reality. Desperately I'll wait till the words flow out of your mouth, when my lungs beg for air. This is where everything is left to sink, oh lets watch them struggle, lets watch them slow. Right here in the pitiful river of broken hearts, dampening this soul. Just doing more damage then it has too, pulling down my chest till I find the bottom of deepened love in the banks of despair. Now it doesn’t matter how much I cared, realizing when we stopped talking about forever, oh promise me our lips will never let us speak of forever again.

Let me drown.

Note: You wonder why I have no trust.

Dear...

lovelywords — 2006-04-09T18:13:00Z

Dear Time,

Pleas stop. I’m running out of you all together in ever-individual way and place in my life.

Dear Change,

I’m really tired of you changing everything and everyone around me, stop changing everything pleas.

Dear Everyone,

I'm sorry for everything i've done.

P.S Wrong would be a word to add in to this mess.

Imagine something beautiful

lovelywords — 2006-03-31T07:07:00Z

Lets go down to where the lights fade and the world is gone. I want to see something you could never imagine, lets create a world you could never imagine. Imagine something beautiful. Neon lights and streetlights with a gaze and hints of things you want to see. A secrete hidden; safe beneath lips, doesn’t exist. Standing in between stars and moons I know such place doesn’t exists but there is a difference and you look down on me and reach. Standing in front of a sign that reads don’t walk, so we’ll get nowhere at all or break that law. I'm not sure witch would be beter any way. I’m wearing your jacket because I love the way it feels on the surface of my skin, I love the fragrance in the hood where your shampoo gives off a scent I never could of smelled before. I hold a flag in my dreams and I go down, down, down. You don’t understand this at all. Yet, I can’t get enough. Let me ramble a story line and you write the story, let me go on about nights I remember in a daze but let you try and figure them out. My memories are hazy my world is new; I want to be next to you. Lets move on with this great way. This probably won’t make much scene at all. As the line says, “perfection ain’t perfect” So lets live our lies sane and insane, now that isn’t perfect at all. You aren’t perfect, neither am I.

Shame

lovelywords — 2006-03-22T19:20:00Z

The pleasures that you once put on self-defining hearts. Oh how I hate that this could be the end but I would be lying if I said there could never be an end. Oh what would love be with out the knife? Drowning every word, intimidating every move, threatening every sound. Hearts sitting on the banks of shallow shores with the love you'd never know, with the scents you could never comprehend. The same as you are, there is no shame, as the hearts sink with what it seems no love? As they lay at the bottom of the pity shore
Good luck where I've failed, love would be a start including the words in this ongoing love affair. My problem is I'm never critical enough to yell your name; your problem is your never content enough to drown in your happiness. Oh god how was this worth it?
Holding back shameless tiers will never hurt so much when abandoned hearts will sing tonight. I always thought the sound of hearts breaking was hushed by the fingers of god
but I guess what they say is true “If your heart were broken you'd be dead.”

This is something I found interesting, I really enjoyed it though.

lovelywords — 2006-03-18T21:11:00Z

For some, music is not just a pastime,
It's an undeniable fact of living,
A blissful slavery of mind, body and soul.
To rise above the ashes of mediocrity is rare,
Yet the gift of song is freely handed out to anyone who cares to receive it,
Instantly shattering our daily drudgery.

The path to pursue more than the usual,
More than what is safe and known,
Is wrought with time-sharpened jagged blades that cut deep,
Blocking many from the road to something greater,
Beyond the stunted imagination of their peers.

Within the veins of few,
Passion fills every sinew with a sweet unquenchable purpose,
Calming the fear of those treacherous paths.
Though each slice burns and bleeds,
Still they take each cut,
And wear the scares with pride to signal their choice,
That undying pursuit is greater joy within every chord.

And so they say- Watch me Bleed

--Hanson