Like a star without its dreams.

Yes it's true, lets start new. Lets start with a new scene with a new plot, with a new you. I want to start over with a hello and a goodbye. Let me just turn around and forget your name before I ever tell you the next line. I hate to hate you but you got me there, you got it. I am losing feeling; I am losing light. I hate to say it’s you but you got it all right. I’ll nod my head; Cry those tiers, Cry those tiers that know you’re gone and move on. This is wrong. I want to type up all those mean things, I want to call you on all those cheap shots. By the way I hate that song. Yes I drowned in that lyric of a lie. I’m over it, so you should stop telling me to move on, I’m already gone.

I’ll see you when you’re ready.

keeping flowers in the hands of a breathless body. I’ll be sure to think of another excuse, I'll be sure to call the hearse.

and I think you could careless, thats what scares me the most.

I'm running out of ideas.

"Everything will be okay, right?" "Remember how much fun it was?" “How can I help?”

When two of your best friends are crying them selves to sleep at night...you sort of forget you need to stop helping cause you got nothing else to give, but you still try. I hate that my life is a-okay and my friends are easily broken. It's so hard not to break. Worry, worry I seem to catch myself doing right after night before I hit the pillowcase of my bed. Someone tell me what to do before I fall into places and hiding situations I don't want to end up. Before I am the one crying myself to sleep cause I can't help...I need somewhere else to go. Somewhere else. Let it not be a gateway drug or a ton of meaningless tears. Let it be good, let help all the hearts I got to fix...before this gets to big to get through. Before I get one to many worthless seams to stitch.

I’ll live a life, when everyone has their eyes widen and their mouths closed. I’ll live a life still thinking the droplets of water hitting my cold skin, sending chills are truly tears of God, and he’s crying down on this poor world hoping for something more.  Don’t listen to me, I’m just full of myself. Skipping through, I have to say that this wont be the last you’ll hear from me, skipping right along I have to say that this wont be the end. I hate this; I hate the way you hold your head high when you’re being pushed and grinded to the ground. I hate that I am the only one who knows. I hate how you can fight yourself to get a few words out that seem to just shrivel up on your tong, “I’m just fine.” when I know your breaking down. I just know. I hate you, but that is just a lie used as a weapon to win your frail heart. And I’m not the one who lies all the time. So, let me lie. Let me cry tears that prove this world is poor. I hate you.
It is only the barrel of the gun.

1/29/2006

I am sitting here and as I sit, I think, and when I think my thoughts soon turn to motives, their sketched in my mind then thrown away. Lately that's just the case, your getting through this place deep inside my head eating away at my heart and my lungs getting through to my brain and then suddenly your gone. Why do you have to leave me to fall? Help, is something you might want to call, even when you don't care. You got to care; deep down you got to care. I am going on with the reasons for living, the reasons for breathing. There is only 150 kids that can fill this space in my heart and make it whole. Please make it whole. Its hard to breath, I catch myself at lose of breath and sinking depressions. No pills, no blood, no razors…no need for simple things just to break. You have full control so take my thoughts and my silly motives and put them to good…I can't leave here, I can't leave this home. You are the reasons.